Introspection

I have always been a loner in life since I could never speak up and offer my views. This can be attributed to the fear of ridicule and feeling of worthlessness. The only people who really do hear what I think are the ones I feel I am close to. My closeness with people is inversely related to how courteously i behave with them. I still cannot understand my inability to mingle with a group easily. It’s more like the members of the group just put up with me. The thought that people find it hard to approach me for anything is ironically amusing to me since I am as human as they are. But then the qualities such as courteousness and speaking etiquette are found missing and I come across as a git who knows no manners and has a mouth bigger than his brain. People around me consider almost everything I feel is normal to do odd and weird and it’s so hard to believe why no one can believe things that I say and believe in.