A life well lived

Its always an easy life (atleast physically) when your part of the dependant population. You are comfortable and you got all the time in the world to pursue anything and everything you set your mind upon…no distractions. But…

Lol…but is a beautiful word(stick to this spelling though). A sentence that can raise people’s expectations to the heavens...and this word at the end brings everything down.

I am quite sure all elders do contemplate their lives and relive their moments of joy etc etc. but….in true sense what really is a life well lived? And also…wat really is living the life? This teacher once came to class….bare foot, clad in a dhoti and t shirt and sporting abundant, unkempt facial hair. He spoke amazingly about his life and how he lives it. Now in retrospect I realize that is the actual meaning of freedom and liberty. Its not about the fact that people may find such a person disgusting or indifferent but…living life for himself. That makes a difference especially to that person. A quote I heard “you as a single entity are capable of nothing…cannot even digest your own food ”. This was said by Ilaiyaraja…but aren’t music directors capable of “generating music”?

Anyway am jus blabbing now..and direction of thought is kinda lost…but…

The difference made by indifference

Everybody wonders randomly…about life, about people, about relationships, about leaderships, about qualities, about quantities, about family, about foes, about money, about emotions…many focus many do not. I guess it all depends on how much time is there at hand for wondering. Rarely can people multi-task in the actual sense…eating and watching TV never counted. Every generation had something they could relate to…and amazingly so that such links were deemed global phenomena. War was an amazing attribute that many generations can relate to…my generation also does. But in reality, these “trends” brought about a sense of expressivity and freedom to the entire generation. The people really brought the real human spirit out (willingly or unwillingly notwithstanding) and raw energy was dissipated endlessly. Simplified – world wars, swinging sixties, musical nirvana, awareness and self-involvement…do add if u can recall more (though I’d like global things and not Indian concepts). Every generation gave it all from within but…. what do I do now? The questions am left asking are – are we missing something? Is this an unhealthy trend for our generation? What the fuck!!!

Everybody can divide their lives into distinct phases…some factors being carried over in the phases and some new contradictory factors developed in each phase…. whatever. For me…my earliest memory now is of me standing inside a high domed building with a shiny ceiling and eating an ice cream cone. Following that is me running high temperatures and waiting with elders on a bench outside a doctor’s clinic. Coming back to the phases past in my life so far…. the religious and obedient phase, the individual thinking and questioning phase, the loud mouthed, the cynical, sarcastic phase and arrogant phase, the indifferent and criticizing phase. Now I’d say am into self-realization and spiritualism but….the end product counts. When everyone around you says your wrong….how correct are you? To view the world in another person’s eyes…easily said but THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!!! To speak in paradoxes now….doing something for everyone’s good? Thinking for everyone’s benefit? Talking on everyone’s behalf?

Do such things really happen?

Everybody who reads this….honestly I don’t know what I want to say out loud. Lol…well the movies are – fight club, good will hunting, girl interrupted, patch adams. The reason for these thoughts now maybe…am I really thinking about everybody when I do things? Should I? Shouldn’t I?

What really counts?

Life and times

India is one of the youngest countries and is a world leader in many things (good or bad). In this new millennium, many events and factors have affected India and Indians in several ways that older ethics and habits are now really a thing of the past. The latest concept I have come across and experienced is the drifting of people and the ability to spend more time with their own self. I was at the wedding of a “close” relative and yet I felt so alien. I was surrounded by relatives and could start a conversation with my parents’ cousins quite easily. Yet I could not find anyone my age to talk to. Everyone was either listening to music or sitting in a daze staring at the proceedings or fiddling with their cell phones. The concept of today, as I am told, is to stay attached and yet detached. Maintain contact yet mind your own. No offense but what has changed now? I don’t really understand how it can be done. You are either dead or alive. You are either right or wrong. Terms like partially correct, almost alike…. anyway coming back to the wedding. Those 2 days were quite harrowing to sit there and watch others walk by listlessly and not glance around, to not move except when called to eat, to keep repeating cliché niceties when people do respond and presence is acknowledged, to look at the bride and groom to get the glazed stare back. Elders I had met when I was 5 responded a lot more than their kids.

People who swore by you, people who needed support at some point of time in life… time sure heals everything. A person I used to sit next to in school couldn’t come up with what to talk about when we met recently. I somehow can relate with the “stay attached yet detached” concept in this case also. Lol only relate but not implement. Organizing a get together, reunions to meet others never really benefits or lightens up everyone but yet can the actual meaning be entirely lost somehow? All emotions lead to anger or come out as sorrow or laughter also? Benign thoughts, hollow talks… can these bridge the gap everywhere safely?

I notice u standing there

The breeze ruffling my hair

Me thinks it’s a well set snare

But am too dazed to care

The concept being lofted up

Everything around me shutting down

As the sky turns grey

This time, predator becomes prey

This scenario gives u a high

I alone hear my sigh

The situation assumes a sense of brevity

I alone feel like a drunkard

Chasing my own center of gravity

Everyone has an inner burning fire

Including the challenged and the omnipresent liar

But the raging flames can be easily blown out

A boxer knocked out by his own bout

Watching the world roll and tilt

The natural curiosity can lead to temptation

Like a flower that’s gonna wilt

No one cares in case of mutual satisfaction

Myself being my best companion

I plead with the inner me

Use more than your eyes to see

If u don’t move fast enough

You’ll end up turning into slough

hey to whoever is reading this....pls do me a favour...suggest a suitable title for the "poem" and also add a few lines about ur thots after u finish reading the piece