The Corona effect

I guess a global shutdown was what needed to happen to shake me out of my (longggg) reverie. Life has been monotonous, procedural and ongoing; exciting, adventurous and scintillating nonetheless... basically welcome to adult life. Planning has become a mainstay of my daily schedule - academic, clinical and trip planning. Responsibility and accountability have become larger goals than thrills and fun alone.
So, this year also started in the same booming note as I came back refreshed from another soul searching ride and ready to achieve my set goals for the year ahead. We all read a small side note in some corner of the newspaper about some infection going viral in some unheard of (not even heard in culinary terms) province in mainland China. The news did trigger memories of some 12-14 perio PGs across the years watching a movie named Contagion in theatres and laughing it off as a movie script.
I had made my academic plans - teach better, set a better example, more research orientation; clinical goals - sophistication, consistency, learning and development for sustenance; travel plans - trip in April, another trip meticulously planned in October maybe and year end hopes.
The infection slowly got more coverage and more countries were named..it's not like am headed east or west anytime soon anyway so  on so let's just carry on with my work and plans. Basical surgical supplies prices shot up - I have adequate stock anyway.
But then the lockdown came. The first trip was nearing cancellation..I was joking about how we can make it all up in October anyway. Bliss and lack of routine now - thanks to lockdown. No college, no consultations and no clinic. Triple strike. Some well deserved R & R. No traffic on the roads while I go to clinic as and when I need and like to. Everything so quiet and peaceful. My city never looked more beautiful.
And now it's day 47. Or 48. Or whatever. It's still peaceful but there is some fraying at the edges. The second trip also looks cancelled. (The hopeful me says postponed to next year) Watching the news and it's mostly reeking of negativity. The death of a doctor and the public's reaction - so demeaning to humanity and an everlasting blot in the memory of Madras.
Drove down to college today and there was crazy traffic...the stench of panic rent the air for miles. The police desperate to stay human and dealing with the maddening crowds ever so patiently. Today I felt a foreboding sense of hopelessness and apathy towards humanity. It was so unsettling that it made me wonder - a nano sized particle bringing about a mountain of change among us.
Humans were, are and will always be parasites on this ever giving land but very rarely have I seen this civil unrest and behavioral uncertainty. The corona sitting on our heads and making us haughty has been knocked down ever so casually by this novel corona.
Since lockdown it seems like nothing has changed since there has been a complete seizure of activity and everyone is inside..but everything has changed. Our basic approach to our fellow human has been destabilized. The mental effect of corona will have far reaching (maybe even permanent and scarring)  potentialities than the physical symptoms.
It gives me this dreaded thought that the worst is yet to come.
But as always we will bear it to the best of our abilities; evolve, adapt and adjust to the changes as and when they come.
I choose to see the rainbow at the end of the ever expanding tunnel.
And to top it all off...I have immense faith in my city, it's uncanny ability to accommodate conservative to quirky all under the same roof and on the same page. So am hoping and praying that some positivity will rub on to all of us too from Madras.
Will leave you all with a song from a recent movie..the movie by itself was very refreshing but this song is a testament on its own. Some positivity to sustain.

https://youtu.be/6YFdfriCIPI

Plastic life

Its interesting how we have been able to evolve our etiquette, courtesies and wordplay as we evolve. The real intent/emotion almost always sugar coated so as to maintain social decorum. Interestingly though, the other person also almost always knows about this sugar coating. Yet this charade continues. i cannot help but wonder why.

We see people talking straight and snubbing others and walking away with their heads held high while the other person is left to pick up pieces of their shattered dignity...on TV. I honestly cannot imagine a scene even one tenth as potent in real life. What is more important - social acceptance or individual characteristics? To dance along that fine line is the most challenging yet enjoyable task of today i guess. Everyone has their own personal quirks and to fit all this within the boundaries of social living - the name of the game.

Sadly, schools hardly teach this...well its not something u can be taught i guess; rather its all about observation, adaptation and acceptance, but still at least pointing us towards the right direction would be nice.

We are a bunch of confused people not sure what to follow; We are busy aping the west while they lean towards the east. where is the line to be drawn now? We might be learning to draw the line and even excel in doing so, when we notice there's been a paradigm shift..poof and that 5 minutes of glory is long gone.

I guess this is the plastic sheet that insulates us, comforts us and protects us from the harsh outside elements of raw human emotions and expressions, Sadly my fear is that this same coat mite also be smothering us and blinding us from growing, adapting and evolving further.

Who lives wins.

There was once a young girl
The youngest among sisters three
Completely rotten and pampered
Living life independant and free

She had a well cared for life
Her mind sharp as a tack; a class topper
Her crowd always hep and cool and naughty
What you wud call a tomboyish teenybopper

Love struck her early on
They got along like a house on fire
But alas it was not meant to be
She had a purpose and calling much higher

So keeping it all clean and neat
She said I 've got some serious studying to do
Be a nerd, a geek, the college bookworm
At the same time making heads turn too

Scoring all the marks and getting all the medals
UG went PG came; days rolling by
Somewhere along love struck again
Her happiness and joy soaring sky high

Scooting off to secretly meet despite hectic schedules
This romance was crazy; they made it look too easy
Time marched on and they got happily married
Amidst all the confusion and frenzy

But alas fate had other plans
Striking a deadly blow at this pretty picture
The girl came down with a crippling fever
Their lives seizing and wheezing due to this constricture

Here’s when the prince charming's true colors were revealed
He stood up and took everything in stride
All with a calm mind and handsome smile
He never wavered or faded from the girls side

The fever lashed out and raged on
The girl began to break physically and mentally
The man held her hand throughout
Never letting go; not one to ever dally

When the fever finally broke; the girl became whole again
The man was still there, smiling his silent smile
His strength and willpower unimaginable
Silently whispering words of wisdom once in a while

Life is but a finite journey
For all u have are few countable days to remember
But the love of your life and the life that you love
Makes these times immortal, eternal; a true paradox.

Unreality

"Life is a race. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and keep running. You stop when you die. Who will cry when you die? Whoever you are whatever you own...nothing matters when you die."

Well anyway getting the ritualistic formalities out of the way; interactions can be associated with a lot of emotions...but somehow I like to always grade them as light hearted, comical, hilarious and insane.Now this might sound insane but then for the sake of inner peace its always better to dumb down incoming interactions and upgrade outgoing interactions. The in between white noise is ur take home package. But whatever... 

Productivity on the other hand...to be dictated solely by the self...for the self knows what the self wants and society needs...and not vice versa. Witnessing the drastic drop in productivity...self doubt, self loathing, misdirected self interest. Sometimes solitude makes for a great companion..the perfect interaction...the piece de resistance...exactly what you wanna hear. And when we hear the voices of society after solitary musings...the resultant clash is noticeably jarring.

So Thats the real choice...get real start running vis-a-vis the first Para...or can get unreal...and work on you..and your productivity.

Impact.

Well I'm back. The last three years has truly been a fiery ride through hell and beyond...and i was apprehensive about blogging due to a dominant presence of dark and discouraging thoughts swirling through my mind endlessly; could notice the impending pessimism reflected in the posts of that time. Now it does seem like the veil has lifted...the curse subdued...the horizon less clouded. Leering negativity apart, the positive "take home" from the nightmare is whatever f#&$ happens life will go on...tomorrow is a new day...this too shall pass...and the sun sets only to rise again.
3 years has truly been enlightening...i learned a lot about my life and future...professionally and personally. Reflecting on the bygone times i cud say i effectively learned to apply it practically. But the ripple effects have been startling to see and wonder about. This annoying habit of mine to stumble stop reflect analyze and re-analyze almost always results in people feeling awkward, getting hurt and wondering how weird this guy is..and can get!?!?!? Having established a love-hate relationship with long standing friends....suddenly i realize they have moved on a long way as i was so self-absorbed and caught up in a paradoxical web of hate, disinterest, insecurity and listlessness.
End of the day...when pondering the number of people who effectively were social and didn't receive an identical/favorable response and the socializing opportunities which weren't utilized effectively...the moments that could have been and should have been rather and that was. To try and change everything ASAP is a foolish enough thought but focusing towards this positive effort and trying to evolve into someone more favorable towards the cause at hand is a good thought to start things with i guess.
So here i am...all rejuvenated and fat as ever...trying to rectify the impact of the past on the future and to get back on my feet running and catching up...also dedicating this renewed blog posting spree to all friends from the past, present and future.

Expecting to blog a lot more and of varied content...as my heart and mind pleases. FEEDBACK WOULD BE HEARTILY ACCEPTED AND MOST APPRECIATED.

Perils of mortality

Mortality teaches us manifold things
From small mistakes to massive errors
But all forgiven when the human passes on
All details so easily forgotten and long gone.

The realms are vast and enigmatic
No clue where one ends and another begins
Watching the dark river styx flow
Everyone’s just As above; so below.

Life and death
Yin and yang
Heaven and hell
That’s as good as one can tell.

Humans “designed” to be unequalled
But with age; just as easily quelled
Time and tide waits for none
Just as the night soon passes with the rising sun.

The growing apprehension of the insecurities of life
Easy to handle using a sane and level head
But again…much easier said than done
Time and tide waits for none.

Foreplay of Fate

As I look upwards at an overcast sky

The shadows of yesterday reflecting deep into tomorrow

As the crowded roads run dry

I alone drown silently in my sorrow.

This world has seen much and heard much

The largesse and lowness of men, women and children

A single person’s thoughts and feelings wouldn’t matter

A single marble thrown far and beyond to scatter

So many different ways and faiths in life on offer now

The basic essence and identity of a person lost

Time not enough to satisfy everything you yearn for

It’s far too late…well beyond the twenty fifth hour.

As the mind feverishly thinks up a storm about the future

Fate, luck and chance have a lot more up their sleeves

Our hopes and wishes  indefinitely lost in translation

The knots too complicated to even figure out a correlation.

As I sit and hopelessly long for simpler times to recur

 Even though I know it’s a blind tunnel; an absolute dead end

I still let my childishly foolish mind wish and waver

Such a world will only be available to think up and savor.